trying my hand at getting some things focused and other not - these purple flowers were beautiful! 

These are a rose called "Joseph's Dreamcoat" because they start out very vibrant pinky-red and fade to cream - so when there are a lot of them it looks like a bunch of different roses. Bethany and I call them "David's Jackets" :) 

Come Lavish in Love

I was at New Song on Sunday night - for two great services. If you are new to New Song, you recieve a CD, with 5 songs on it. It gives a "taste" of the music at the church, but also provides a variety of GREAT words and sound to entertain and feed your day.

One of the songs is "Come Lavish in Love" - the words caught me breathless today as I clean up the offices and search online for a dress

And I stand justified, through faith in God
We have peace with him through our Lord Jesus Christ
Now in grace we stand; we rejoice in hope
Praising him in every victory, every trial.

We know hope will never fail 'cause he has given us his love
through the Holy Spirit living within us

Cause I am lavished in love
forever been forgiven
caught up in your grace as it flows down from your throne

I'm eternally enamored
enveloped by yours arms
and I know your strength with hold me when I fall

Cause I'm lavishely loved.
I'm lavishly loved, lavishly loved.

then it goes into the words from amazing grace. triumphant in the truth of god's grace.

what a song. what a truth. it speaks directly to my heart. and if i were better at this whole "web" thing I would link the song here so that you could hear it. As it is, i want new song to prosper and so I'll say this:
if you go to the following link: https://www354.ssldomain.com/clovercreek/resources/product.asp?productid=61 you can get aNew Song CD for like $10 or something ridiculously inexpensive like that. Do it. Do it NOW. Its my favorite CD right now. There's a song on it called "Gracious God" that I've been singing to myself for YEARS since they started singing it at New Song.

(note: the CD referenced above doesn't have "Come Lavish in Love" on it.... apparently you can't buy that one on-line yet, but if you call the offices of Revalesio or New Song they may get a copy of "Live at the Rialto" in your hands - tell them I referred you and be sure to say, "please")

(New Song: 253.404.0177 Revalesio: 253-404-0111)

Blessings dear friends - may the grace of God be yours!
love<>

Variety of items

Good morning! At least for those of you in the west its still morning - for the others good afternoon!

Couple bits of information:
1) I traveled to Point Loma Nazarene university on Sunday night to interview for a position in Residence Life there on Monday. After the whole experience I didn't feel like I was a fit for them. Consequently....

2) I accepted a position at Greenville College as the manager of the Fitness Center, beginning July 11th (when I return from my second Seattle trip). I am excited about this change in direction, and to use this position as a tent-making job in order to do whatever ministry the Lord is moving me into at Greenville.
(http://www.greenville.edu/athletics/facilities/fitness/)

3) I had a SUPER TIME with Gloria and Donna (and Anita/Brian/Steve and Tony on Sunday) over last weekend. Glo and Donna and I spend all of Friday and Saturday together and most of Sunday (until I headed to the airport) it was a great time and I was so blessed to have spent it with them.

4) I'm thrilled to still be in the Seattle area all this week attending the Jesus-Ministry conference in Tacoma, sponsored by Clover Creek and New Song. What a blessing. I am learning, growing, being challenged and encouraged. I expect great revelation this week to help me prepare for this next year at Greenville and further moving me into my calling.

I am being challenged in a few ways, and at the end of this are some scriptures that are real to me today. But my sense today is that the Lord wants me to let him pick me up and be carried - even though I'm awake and could walk, he wants me to lay my head on his shoulder like I was a 4 year old girl who just loves being carried by her dad and trusts him to take her wherever she needs to go. My hope is that today I can let him direct me into the right places - that I can close my eyes, rest and go with him.

Scriptures for today:
(Ironically last nights prayer time was largely about being single... and today's reading was 1st Corinthians 7...)
beginning in verse 8, excerpts throught the chapter: Now to the unmarried I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried as I am. Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you unmarried? do not look for a {husband}. time is short and we should live in response to that - if you buy something, live as if it were not yours to keep, those who use the things of the world as if not engulfed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern. A single woman is concerned about the Lord's affairs - her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. In my judgement, she is happier if she stays as she is... vs40.

psalm 119:92 - if your law had not been my delight, i would have perished in my affliction.

God is good, and he loves me. I'm learning that more and more - and even as its something I teach a LOT, i realize this week that i need to be taught more in my heart, too.

Read all of Psalm 119 as you have time and be encouraged that God's word is your lamp (vs 105), and that he knows ALL about you. (vs 73)

So I pray that God would open my eyes to see the wonderful things in his law (vs 18) and that I would be transformed through the revelation.

Love, Tiffani

quick update for the regular readers (and any occasionals, too)!

god loves you. and he loves me too. (thought I would lead with that)

thus far I don't have a job yet. But I do have a job OFFER, and an INTERVIEW, so its true that it never rains but it pours.

I'm in Seattle, WA today (actually Kirkland for the NW-sters). Last night my flight arrived to the greeting of the POURING rain, at 12:30am..... 2:30 am my time. I awoke this morning early to a phone call from a good friend and also to a beautiful early summer day in Seattle.

blue sky
light clouds
green everywhere
the sound of traffice
the sound of birds chirping
warm sun
very light breeze
the sound of little league traveling over the air from the local park
peaceful and perfect.

I am blessed.

I am staying this weekend with two of my aunts - Glo and Donna - and we are hanging together ALL WEEKEND! I'm psyched! And then I fly to San Diego on Monday for an interview at Point Loma Nazarene Univ, for a resident director position. I fly back to Seattle that night to prepare for a conference at New Song church (see link to the left) - "Jesus Ministry" which has a lot to do with what I'm teaching and doing back in Greenville, but will be great in-depth information and training for me. Further education!

That is the plan. And I am feeling rejuvenated as I consider the options of staying in Greenville or maybe going to San Diego. May the Lord give me wisdom to follow my heart and his direction. And may he speak loudly so that I can hear him over the desires of my friends, family and the breaking surf at the ocean. :)

much love to you today. may God demonstrate his love to you intimately and with the desire of your heart today.

love, tiff

links:
www.pointloma.edu
www.newsongministry.org
www.greenville.edu

"Am I lovely?" "Do I matter?" (answer Psalm 45:11)

These two questions are the innate questions of women (as revealed in John and Stasi Eldredge's new book "Captivating").

(p.s. before you get too far, this post is a lot about women, and so don't get mad if you're a guy, OK?)

I started reading Captivating on Monday (a friend gave it to me for my birthday - THANKS!) because some women here are going to go through it this summer together. I had heard some good things about it, but also some negative things about what might be in it. It's touted as the "female version" of Wild at Heart, the tagline says, "What Wild at Heart did for men Captivating will do for you." I know some women who have read "Wild at Heart" and been wounded by the way it portrays women to men.

side note: someone wisely said to me today - "its foolish to read a book about men, written for men, to find out your identity as a woman." I agree, but I'd also agree that its hard to see things written that you don't agree with and not think, "I don't want men to think that way about me."

To summarize before I begin with a couple quotes I will say this - I am only 65 pages through this book (which is about 1/4) - only mid-way through chapter 4. And already I have been moved to tears and found peach and solace within it.

The Eldredges contend that there are three main "pieces" within a woman:
1) the desire to be sought after/desired/pursued/romanced - we'll call this one: Princess
- this is not a damsel in distress, its just that we want to be valuable and worthy of being sought.
2) the desire to be an irreplacable part of an adventure, something bigger than ourselves: Warrior
- this takes shape in all different ways, but ultimately it means that we want to be useful and able to fight and help achieve a victory
3) the desire to be thought of as beautiful as we are - both inside and outside: Lovely
- the argument is that each woman has beauty inside her to unveil and we want to be able to unveil it.

Here's where I've been most touched by this book thus far, and by the hope that is in my heart for healing as a woman:
Because God created both man and woman in his image, the deepest desires of our heart are the desires that God put there - both to teach us to seek him, and because it IS him. God desires to be sought after; its all over the bible: seek me, come to me, find me, ask me. God desires us to be part of the bigger picture, the bigger battle, GOD is a Warrior. And God has inexpressable beauty, and longs for it to be displayed.

I read a story recently (and I won't be able to do it justice here) where a man was on a walk and came to a never visited part of the countryside which was teeming with flowers and grasses and life - beautiful. The man cried out to God, "God, why would you create this beauty out here where no one will ever see it or value it?" In the story God's reply was to this effect. 'My beauty is such that even if no man shall ever see it, the birds and the heavens will look down upon it and rejoice.' God longs to share his beauty, and does share his beauty, in order that he might be glorified.

I am encouraged that because I was created in the image of God that my longings (in their best form) are not wrong. I'm encouraged that I can see God in me; the Apostle Paul called it, "Christ in You: The Hope of Glory". I am encouraged that I indeed AM a Warrior Princess, a beautiful representation of the King of Heaven, loving to be loved and delighting in it, and seeking to fight along side someone for a cause greater than my self.

Two quotes before I head to lunch:
"We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought - that no one has the passion or courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. [aside: who hasn't felt that way, especially if you are a strong personality!?!] And we feel uncertain - uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be" (p. 7)

"She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve. She is the Master's finishing touch... Eve is...breathtaking... Not an afterthought. She is God's final touch, his piece de resistance. She fills a place in the world nothing and no one else can fill. Step to a window, ladies, if you can. Better still, find some place with a view. Look out across the earth and say to yourselves, "This whole, vast world is incomplete without me. Creation reached its zenith in me."" (p. 25)

Eldredge, John and Stasi, "Captivating", Thomas Nelson, Inc, 2005

Make sure you hear me say that this book is not about female dominance or any NOW agenda..... But its nice as a woman who has often been forced to be "manly" in business or told to be "less" strong outside of business to realize that God thought that there was more needed after he created man. That I was created not as an aside, but as an integral part of creation - JUST as I was created.

More to come.

The King is enthralled by your beauty. Psalm 45:11

Love, TR

Oswald Chambers and the problems with the information age

I think I may have quoted this before, but maybe not....

Excerpts from "My Utmost for His Highest" - by Oswald Chambers
June 8 - "What Next?"

If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the smooth waters just inside the harbour bar, full of delight, but always moored; you have to get out through the harbor bar into the great deeps of God and begin to know for yourself, begin to have spiritual discernment.

Beware of harking back to what you once were when God wants you to be something you have never been.

Check out more from Oswald at: http://www.rbc.org/utmost/

Here's a little bit of my update about my problems with the information age and the global village:
1) you end up knowing too many people to really maintain quality relationships with. studies say that women can really only maintain 3 intimate friends, and the rest are less close. how do we manage that when we have close friends in 12 cities around the country?
2) you are invested IN relationships (actively) around the community in which you live, but you also want to make sure people who are either full-time or temporarily in different communities feel loved.

HOW!!?!?!?!? This is the downfall, the pitfall, the destruction that is owed to the information age. Don't get me wrong, there is a TON of great things we have gained. But the ability to communicate instantly (and thus to communicate poorly often) is not one of them.

Today I am against the "global village" (comical, even as I use this "blog" to post my thoughts to my friends and family around the country!).

This is Andi's "Isn't he silly, Tiff" face. We exchange this look a lot when Jared is being goofy. 

Jared in his normal photo pose..... running away. At this stage he would rather be silly than sit still! 

Waiting. 

Little ballerinas (pre-recital). Andi is on the right. 

All the excitement of getting ready and then a 40 minute car trip? No wonder she fell so fast asleep. 

Getting ready for the recital. "Mommy, I think we should paint my fingers and toes with the reddish-pink color." 

Andi and Ryan in their confederate attire. I guess once you move to the south its a requisite? 

Andilin loving the cinnamon rolls we got to have for breakfast on Sunday because it was "Recital Day" - John and Karen, et al. are great at making special days really special! 

Ryan got new slip on shoes recently. They may be his all time favorite acquisition (next to the electric train!) 

Jared. 3 years old. 

Here's Ryan driving his new red convertible sportscar. Its important to wear something to cover your heat, you know. Doesn't he look like a grown up!?! 

Its tough to be a performer - lots of waiting in line! 

How sweet are these little ballerinas? 

Andi with her dear friend Peyton. (the day before Andi's recital) 

Andi is VERY chic in her ballet leotard and her retro shades (mine). 

Jared with his watchdog - waiting for his mom to buy him shoes. We got to the bookstore and were getting ready to get out when this voice comes from the backseat, "I forgot my shoes!" 

Life as I know it

There are a couple things that I know about life. There are a bunch of things I DON'T know about life.

Some of the things that I DO know are these:
1) People love to be loved. No one can deny it. When someone loves us unconditionally, is excited to see us, does something special for us we feel like the top of the world.
2) Its hard to leave relationships (see #1).

I'm confronted this week with the opportunity to interview in two different cities for two very different jobs. In San Diego I have the opportunity to interview for a job that I think I'll be good at, and goes with what I want to do for a career (it moves my current ministry into a career) but its with a whole new group of people. In Greenville I have the opportunity to interview for a job that I will be good at, but that I will have to "make" into something I love - and I'll work a lot of extra hours doing it, but the people are ones I know and love. In San Diego I am a long car drive away from my family and a cheap flight away from a ton of my friends and family. In Greenville I am not a cheap flight nor short drive from any of those people - but I'm near a bunch of people who are dear friends to me, and there are women here who I would like to see graduate from College, or go further in spiritual matters.

The Lord promises that if we leave our mother/father/sister/brother that he will replace them 100-fold (Mark 10:29-31). And thats been true all the time I've been away from my family and friends. The Lord has been more than faithful to his promises. But lately I've been wondering if I'm "wasting" the time I could have with my grandparents or parents. If something were to happen to my grandparents, my mom or dad, my brother, would I believe I've made the right decision to stay in Greenville when I had a chance to move closer?

Today the point remains moot. I don't have a job offer yet anywhere. The residence life job at Greenville didn't come through and so I'm left with two options that as of yet are not options (ok, and I'll apply for another couple jobs tomorrow) but may be.

In meantime, speaking of feeling loved. I do.

Many reasons (and these are 3 CURRENT reasons!):
~ Weekend in San Antonio with John/Karen/Ryan/Andi/Jared (see pics above!) and Karen's Parents Nick and Dorothy. I feel as loved by this family as I do by my own family. I feel "a part" of it as though we are related - and we are. The kids welcome me in as though I haven't been away and then say things like, "Tiff, don't go." - how can that not make you feel loved? They support me so often with kind emails and phone calls, and they find ways to bless me in ways that are secret desires of my heart.
~ My parents are the greatest parents in the world (argue if you must, but just because you don't believe it doesn't mean it isn't true.... :) ). They are generous and thoughtful, fun and adventurous. They love each other and have taught me how to love and how to hang in. They love me with more love than I can imagine; supporting me with words, touch and occasionally money - even when they didn't understand my decisions. They always stand by me.
~ God is eagerly desirous of a relationship with me. He craves for me to come to him and rest. He calls to me and calls me "Beautiful Daughter" and he enables me to embark on exciting adventures that are great mysteries - he knows that I love mysteries. He offers me rest and comfort and affection, challenges me to be better and exemplify his nature more. He knows me intimately and meets me as who I am, in the fullness of my personality - which at its very BEST (ok, thats not every day or even 100% of any day but go with me) is a part of God's personality. I was created in his image.

Among all the women in the world today and despite all the mental gymnastics I am going through regarding my future, I feel the most blessed. You can argue - and I hope you do! - that YOU are the most blessed (because somehow in God's economy You are and I am, too!), but we would have a great time recounting the ways that God is blessing each of us and in the end come up with the fact that God is good. All the time. Despite our visible circumstances - and in fact because of our visible circumstances.

Among all women, he chooses me.


He chooses you, too.

Consider it.

Love, Tiff

Then the time came when the risk it took
To remain tight in a bud was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom.

Anais Nin
__________________

I was doing so well for a while keeping updated and now its been a month. I will update this week. But in the meantime, this quote struck me today. I pray that I can see that the reward is worth any risk, and that I'll be willing to face pain to blossom into who God is making me to be.

Love, Tiff

my experience this weekend. Find out more at the website in the post below. 

Damascus Road

http://www.mcc.org/damascusroad/about.html

This weekend I attended an "Anti-Racism Analysis Training" through an experience/group called "The Damascus Road" - which is organized and housed under the Menonite Central Committee (a function of the Menonite church).

I'm still a little raw, and trying to process all that I learned, recognized, realized and desire to see happen in my life and in the amercian society.

The course was split into three section: racism and brokenness, racism and identity, racism and healing. Through the experience we walked through a 500 year history of racism and oppression in America, identified ways that racism has been systemically injected into our institutions, and talked about how racism as an evil tries to destroy both whites and people of color.

It was fascinating. So hard to see how from 1492 through today racism - though changing in its form, continues to be active. Especially when so much of what we "think" is color-blind. I was challeneged in my own mind to realize that being color-blind is not the solution - for to be color-blind inevitably forces people of color to conform to my white culture. But instead I can acknowledge people of color, their background, culture and lives. Not to ignore, but to embrace. We talked about the privileges we receive as white people, just by being white. (and if you think about it - there are a ton. if you are having a hard time, think about what things that people of color often DON'T get - i.e. the freedom to browse in a store without being followed)

We did a lot of talking - trying to process through our emotions and reactions. Trying to understand how the bible could be used as justification for the decimation of native nations, for slavery, etc. Trying to look at this issue from a Christian perspective now.

The goal of the Damascus Road process, it seems, is to bring awareness to the issue, and then to train groups to begin breaking down racism within their institution. I am excited to be a part of this process at Greenville for as long as the Lord allows me to be here. I am hopeful that there are more and more people trained in this understanding, and that share the desire to see REAL equality and representation for all races on this campus.

In the meantime, I am in thoughtful prayer as to how I can go forward individually in this endeavor.

yours truly!
Tiffani

Here is a photo of my "Tuesday Morning Breakfast Club" - we are missing one regular member, and one new member from this picture - but we were excited to be together just the same. Look at these beautiful women!!!! Clockwise, starting left - Ashley, Hilary, Jenn, Annie, Amanda (far right), Hilary (purple shirt), Maura (below Annie), and me. Missing from the pic: Kristina, Joy

Me, Jenn, Maura and Amanda - I love these girls and we laughed that we were all dressed the same! 

The barn where we had the retreat - the setting was incredible - and it had a lake! 

Tulips in front of the red barn - beautiful! 

Recent Events

Well, so much in a week. I continue to forget to update regularly, but then again, I see that I posted pics last week, so I feel like once a week may be good enough (trying to have some grace with myself).

In the last two weeks I've gone for a long girl's weekend with my mom in Chicago, and spent a less long weekend with girls from the college at a retreat.

BOTH events were outstanding. I had a G-R-E-A-T time with my mom, and am itching to get working on a few scrapbook pages for our "road trip" scrapbook. After we drove from Seattle to Greenville in 2003 I made her a book of our trip, and we've decided to add pages from our annual girl's weekends (of which this was the first) to the book - rather than get a new book! Chicago was SUPER fun - what a city! So much to do and see. We went to Eli's Cheesecake world (the actual bakery by O'Hare airport), the Mag. Mile (as we call it now) and what seemed like miles of other places. The weekend was capped at the end with the Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues - WOW. The group that performed was named "somebody and Chosen" (can't remember their name now, darn it!) and they were fantastic. What a neat time. (plus - chickory in coffee = good)

Last weekend was also VERY fun - less relaxing mentally, but more relaxing physically, so overall it was great. The location was incredible (i'll put a couple pics up) and the weather was perfect - all this despite the anxiety over ticks (they were everywhere - but thankfully I didn't bring any back with me... that i know of). I presented a workshop called, "Moldy Cheese" which talked about ridding our lives of the "yukky" things that keep us bound in shame and embarassment. I was excited to be asked to speak, but not as excited as I was simply to attend!

I got to spend a lot of time with the ladies who are in my weekly bible study, as well as some others who I don't get to see so much. And I was as blessed as anyone there by the whole experience.

This weekend I am headed out to "Durley Camp" in Greenville, where I will participate in "Damascus Road" - an anti-racism training that I hope will be a great experience of revelation and growth. I'm not afraid to face any subtle (or overt) prejudices that I might have and at the same time, I am wondering what I will take away, how I will be changed.

Many birthdays in my life this week - Larina turned 29 on Monday, and my Aunt Donna's b-day is on Friday (I can't remember the age - for which she is probably glad - smile), and Erin O'Hagan takes the plunge into her 30's next Thursday.

Thankfully God is good and all those ladies are in good health and mostly good spirits regarding their age. :)

Here are some prayer requests:
1) our office is heading up a "40 days of prayer" effort on campus, nightly from 10:15-11:15, tonight is night 17. Please pray for people's hearts to be moved to pray, and for people's lives to be changed by prayer.
2) I have been exhausted, my house is in disarray, and so is my "organized" life. Please pray that I could get back on track in the next days, and more particularly next week - with physical discipline (working out, balancing checkbook, bills) and spiritual discipline (more reading and prayer).
3) My job situation is still undetermined (from my perspective, though the Lord knows). Please pray that interviews would be scheduled soon for the resident director job on campus and that I would know if its an option for me.

THANKS for your prayers and love!
Love, Tiff

Thursday night....Navy Pier. This is our first night in the Chi and it was COLD down by the lake. But we enjoyed the stain glass museum and even went on the giant ferris wheel. Good start to the weekend! 

Here's me and mom at the airport~! You would never guess that we were WIPED OUT with exhaustion. But in fact, as soon as my plane for St. Louis boarded... I was sound asleep! What a great trip! 

The Soundtrack for my Life

My aunts (gloria and donna) and I went with my dad to his chorale rehearsal tonight. He sings in two choral groups - the Arizona Choral Union and the Phoenix Symphony Chorus. Tonight was the PCC. It was GREAT. I love hearing him sing, and I love music.

The song that I heard for the first time tonight was Italian and called something like "Nostrem Dorma" (something 'sleep') - thats not the "right" title but its like that. Anyway, it was beautiful and I wished I could carry it around on a little I-pod with speakers and play it in the more dramatic moments of my life.

That being said, its midnight, I checked into my fligh (which is why i'm up!) and was the 1st one to do so - HURRAH! But my aunts are sleeping in the other room and I need to do the same so that they aren't being kept awake by my typing.

So blessings to all. Maybe tomorrow I'll get the right title and also post another quote from "Hind's Feet" - its phenomenal. Read it.

I am blessed tonight among the people, to know and love God and to be known and loved. To have family whom I love, and who love me. And to have sweet music in my head.

Love you friends and family as well - :)

Being at home, and Hinds' Feet

Well, Hello!

Been a long time (i can't count that last blog, since its really just b-days, and probably incomplete to boot!).

I'm at my parent's home in Phoenix for about a week, to attend the wedding of a college friend, Liz. ** side note - i thought, i wonder if i can find a pic to post of Liz, so i googled her - amazing stuff people - and found a pic and bio at this website: www.standrewspres.com/staff/liz_lantz.htm** I'm REALLY excited for this wedding. Liz is a friend who I often email with, but have not seen (except this pic right now) in 9 years. I found out she was a Christian, and that she was also in BSF (years ago now) and our friendship was rekindled. She since left BSF to work as an alumni advisor to ADPi at U of A. I cherish her friendship and her helpful comments as I was pursuing a position nationally with the sorority (as a house director - a position which i have applied for, but for which there are not yet any openings).

ANYWAY. The wedding is tomorrow (saturday) at 4pm in Tucson, so I am taking a 2 hour drive down south, and then will stay overnight in a hotel down there and meet up with my folks and two of my beautiful aunts for a spring training b-ball game in the afternoon (sunday). What a treat!

I took a bump in St. Louis, so got a voucher, but lost out on sleep and arrived in Phx on Thurs am, 10-ish hours later than originally planned, but it worked out super. Thurs (yesterday) was long and I was tired, but enjoyed seeing my family so much. The house looks incredible - inside and out and the ORANGE BLOSSOMS (my favorite smell) are incredible. The air is cloying and sweet and it makes me want to breathe in constantly and never exhale. Seriously, if you haven't smelled their fragrance, get thee to Arizona, Florida or California IMMEDIATELY before they fall.

The hardest part of the day was experiencing first-hand the loss of our family dog, Buddy. Buddy was a beagle, and was with us almost 13 years. He was put to sleep last Friday after a diagnosis of terminal cancer. What I notice most is what I don't notice. Let me 'splain. The sound of him shaking his collar, the dog door slapping, his bed by the fireplace, the slurping as he licks my brother's face, and his whining when i got to the door with my suitcase - begging to be petted. The loss is palpable and we are worse for his absence, though there are a TON of funny and happy memories.

OK, on a lighter note.

Today my mom and I went shopping to help get me ready for the wedding. I love my mom - love shopping with her. She was patient and allowed me to try on about a million different tops with the skirt that I tucked away in my purse so we could match the colors. And then she spent another 30 minutes with me in the jewelry section as we tried to find "just the right necklace". :) Happy day. Later my dad, mom and I drove out looking at houses for one of his clients......... we looked at two (from the street) in particular. They were ginormous. One of them was $6 million (no exaggeration) the other was $3.5. yeah. I'm hoping that we can look at some other biggies on Monday.

On to Hinds' Feet. Did you know that a "Hind" is a female deer. I did not, so I looked it up.

I'm currently reading "Hinds' Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. If you are a believer in Jesus - and have not read it, pick it up and read at least to page 80. (I can't recommend it yet further than that - i'm only on 80 myself, but my expectations are high that it will continue to be phenomenal) Its an allegory about the Christian's walk with Jesus, represented by a woman named "Much Afraid" and being accompanied to the high places by two companions "Sorrow" and "Suffering".

WOW. thats all there is to it.

Here is an excerpt. (and before I forget, another recommendation: "The Autobiography of George Muller" - its about $5 online. must read, must own!)

"The high places," answered the Shepherd, " are the starting places for the journey down to the lowest place in the world. When you have deer's feet and can go 'leaping on the mountains and skipping on the hills,' you will be able, as I am, to run down from the heights in gladdest self-giving and then go up to the mountains again." (p. 60)
............
"Joy and Peace. Are those the companions you would have chosen for yourself? You remember your promise, to accept the helpers that I would give, because you believed that I would choose the very best possible guides for you.....Fear not, Much Afraid, only believe. I promise that you shall not be put to shame. Go with Sorrow and Suffering, and if you cannot welcome them now, when you come to the difficult places where you cannot manage alone, put your hands in their confidently and they will take you exactly where I want you to go."
She looked at him and said, "Do I wish to turn back? O Shepherd, to whom should I go?.... Help me to trust you as much as I long to love you." (pp. 66-67)
............

And on that note, may you be blessed tonight beyond your own understanding and may you find that the Great Shepherd has indeed layed out a table before you in front of your enemy, but that you can sup there in safety and confidence.

Love, me.

The Latest

Wow - I thought JUNE had a lot of birthdays.... March seems to be a biggie, too.
My brother turns 28 on the 31st.
Jenn turned 22 on the 7th.
Ashley and Hilary (the lambert twins) turned 19 on the 10th.
AND Bethany turns 24 (?yes?) on the 13th.

I can only remember dates, not ages. And dates not well. Especially if they fall after FB camp begins.

Single-ness?

http://www.pcpc.org/ministries/singles/singledout.asp

If you have a few minutes, I encourage you to check out this attached article, written from the perspective of a 30-something single woman in the last couple years. (She is now married.)

I think that its a SUPER call for single people and married people to forget about their "status" and simply serve. Which (most days) is my motto as well.

For the hesitant - here is an excerpt:
Had I any vague premonition of my present plight when I was six, I would have demanded that Stephen Herbison (incontestably the catch of the second grade) put his marriage proposal into writing and have it notarized. I do want this piece to be practical, so to all you first-graders: CARPE DIEM.


Blessings.
Tiffani