"Am I lovely?" "Do I matter?" (answer Psalm 45:11)

These two questions are the innate questions of women (as revealed in John and Stasi Eldredge's new book "Captivating").

(p.s. before you get too far, this post is a lot about women, and so don't get mad if you're a guy, OK?)

I started reading Captivating on Monday (a friend gave it to me for my birthday - THANKS!) because some women here are going to go through it this summer together. I had heard some good things about it, but also some negative things about what might be in it. It's touted as the "female version" of Wild at Heart, the tagline says, "What Wild at Heart did for men Captivating will do for you." I know some women who have read "Wild at Heart" and been wounded by the way it portrays women to men.

side note: someone wisely said to me today - "its foolish to read a book about men, written for men, to find out your identity as a woman." I agree, but I'd also agree that its hard to see things written that you don't agree with and not think, "I don't want men to think that way about me."

To summarize before I begin with a couple quotes I will say this - I am only 65 pages through this book (which is about 1/4) - only mid-way through chapter 4. And already I have been moved to tears and found peach and solace within it.

The Eldredges contend that there are three main "pieces" within a woman:
1) the desire to be sought after/desired/pursued/romanced - we'll call this one: Princess
- this is not a damsel in distress, its just that we want to be valuable and worthy of being sought.
2) the desire to be an irreplacable part of an adventure, something bigger than ourselves: Warrior
- this takes shape in all different ways, but ultimately it means that we want to be useful and able to fight and help achieve a victory
3) the desire to be thought of as beautiful as we are - both inside and outside: Lovely
- the argument is that each woman has beauty inside her to unveil and we want to be able to unveil it.

Here's where I've been most touched by this book thus far, and by the hope that is in my heart for healing as a woman:
Because God created both man and woman in his image, the deepest desires of our heart are the desires that God put there - both to teach us to seek him, and because it IS him. God desires to be sought after; its all over the bible: seek me, come to me, find me, ask me. God desires us to be part of the bigger picture, the bigger battle, GOD is a Warrior. And God has inexpressable beauty, and longs for it to be displayed.

I read a story recently (and I won't be able to do it justice here) where a man was on a walk and came to a never visited part of the countryside which was teeming with flowers and grasses and life - beautiful. The man cried out to God, "God, why would you create this beauty out here where no one will ever see it or value it?" In the story God's reply was to this effect. 'My beauty is such that even if no man shall ever see it, the birds and the heavens will look down upon it and rejoice.' God longs to share his beauty, and does share his beauty, in order that he might be glorified.

I am encouraged that because I was created in the image of God that my longings (in their best form) are not wrong. I'm encouraged that I can see God in me; the Apostle Paul called it, "Christ in You: The Hope of Glory". I am encouraged that I indeed AM a Warrior Princess, a beautiful representation of the King of Heaven, loving to be loved and delighting in it, and seeking to fight along side someone for a cause greater than my self.

Two quotes before I head to lunch:
"We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought - that no one has the passion or courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. [aside: who hasn't felt that way, especially if you are a strong personality!?!] And we feel uncertain - uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be" (p. 7)

"She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve. She is the Master's finishing touch... Eve is...breathtaking... Not an afterthought. She is God's final touch, his piece de resistance. She fills a place in the world nothing and no one else can fill. Step to a window, ladies, if you can. Better still, find some place with a view. Look out across the earth and say to yourselves, "This whole, vast world is incomplete without me. Creation reached its zenith in me."" (p. 25)

Eldredge, John and Stasi, "Captivating", Thomas Nelson, Inc, 2005

Make sure you hear me say that this book is not about female dominance or any NOW agenda..... But its nice as a woman who has often been forced to be "manly" in business or told to be "less" strong outside of business to realize that God thought that there was more needed after he created man. That I was created not as an aside, but as an integral part of creation - JUST as I was created.

More to come.

The King is enthralled by your beauty. Psalm 45:11

Love, TR