2 work days and 4 real days remaining....

Its 11:15 am on Wednesday. I leave on Sunday around noon, so its about 4 days exactly at this point. I've gone through some sadness and some gladness, too.

Last Wednesday the Schenks and Petersons and TJ helped me move what's left of my furniture (a computer cart, file cabinet, small bookcase/nightstand, small TV stand, queen mattress set with headboard/footboard) and a bunch of boxes/containers (about 12) to the home of the Brooks. They are the family that is moving to San Antonio next week, so they said they'd transport my stuff with theirs. When I arrive in TX next week the Fergasons (and I think the Martines, Karen's folks) will help me get it all loaded up and back to Waco before the end of July... at least I think thats the plan. We'll see I guess. Anyway, I’ve been sleeping on an airbed (the 4” thick one, not the 4 footer) ever since and by morning its basically deflated, so I’m not sleeping very well.

My mom arrives at 1am Friday night/Saturday morning. Yikes. I haven't been up that late in a long time. That means we'll get back to Greenville by 2:30am - wowo. But I'm glad she'll be there. For a while it looked like it would be my dad helping, and I was excited that he was going to get to spend a weekend with me. But its always fun to have my mom move with me, too, so it will be great.

Today I bought a car top carrier, and someone is giving me a bike trunk rack, so I can take my bike. I'm a little nervous about the little brown bomber trying to carry so much to Texas... but hopefully it will be OK. I decided not to get the tranny repaired, but I believe in my heart it will be OK – or at least it will be what the Lord wants it to be.

First Thessalonians has been a comfort to me. Paul tells the church at Thessalonica (5:24) that the one who called them is faithful and he will do it. I believe that I’m making the right choice to move to Waco, and I’ve sought the Lord’s heart about “how”, so I believe he will get me there.

Today I read Nehemiah 9 in my quiet time and was moved. Everyone of the returnees to Israel gathered together and they prayed this great prayer of thanks and repentance. They acknowledged who God is, and remembered his works for them in the past, the way He called Abraham, His deliverance of them out of Egypt, His protecting them and leading them in the wilderness and helping them to persevere, His grace in the face of their rebellion. At one point they say, “In all that has happened to us, you have been just; you have acted faithfully, while we did wrong.” (vs 33). At the end they say, “We are in great distress.”

Sometimes when I find prayerful passages of scripture I read it aloud, and take it as my prayer for the day. I do it with psalms a lot. Today I read the chapter above aloud and was surprised by how moved I was by the end of it. I wasn’t weeping with sorrow, but my heart was torn and I was undone. I was glad that I could acknowledge God’s faithfulness in the face of my rebellion and unfaithfulness; even this morning... maybe especially this morning. I woke up at 3:34 today with lots of things on my mind. So I grabbed my phone and put in a couple meetings to remember and tried to go back to sleep. But I’m on an airbed and so I dozed for a bit longer and then it was 4 am and I figured I might as well get up, and get into work early to take care of a couple things before the girls got here. And so as I read that passage aloud (to get to the point) I was really struck by my wicked heart and how unfaithful I am being in the face of God’s faithfulness to me. I can make a prayer of my own history and God’s faithfulness and my unfaithfulness and say with the Israelites of 2500 years ago: “I am in great distress.”

And so if you are a praying type, please pray for me – I need more belief. But what I CAN say to the Lord today is this: “ I believe, help me overcome my unbelief.”