A letter to Justin (edited to protect the innocent)

Hi Justin,

There are moments when I wished you lived in the states so I could call you at a moment’s notice and tell you I’m thinking of you! A lot of them happen while watching any film starring Hugh Grant (and by the way, he has been in many films so I see him a LOT!).

Tonight I was about to go to bed and work on my bible study, but allowed myself 30 minutes of the movie “Love Actually” on Cinemax (its on all the time right now, and so I’m always seeing bits and pieces of it) – which I like more each time I see a bit of it – very true, and awkward and bittersweet. So 30 minutes came and went and I watched for 5 more till the next scene with Hugh and the gal that works for him… at the end he says, (referring to a portrait of Margaret Thatcher) “Did you ever have this problem?... Of course you did, you saucy minx.” And I laughed out loud because it’s so much like you and I am so blessed by that line – every time I hear that line and see his face I think of you and smile.

All that to say that I wrote it down so I could email you and wouldn’t lose the thought. I don’t even know how to write you a paper letter if such things were acceptable in the technological age. I do hope you are well. I haven’t heard from you lately, but we’ve both been busy.

My life ticks along with little change and yet huge changes looming. I’m not sure what I want to do with my life, and even when part of me says, “be married and have lots of little tiffanis”… I realize that I don’t even know who I’d want to do that with! And so I’m taking the next few days as an exercise in discerning what I want to do with my life…… and hoping I have some vision and direction by the end of it!

Are you still dating the gal from the spring? From DC? How does that work with you overseas? If not, is there anyone new? How do you like your new digs? What are they like? How is Malaysia different from ‘Nam?

{EDIT}

And so watching “you” on TV tonight is a joy because you are witty and funny and like me for who I am. And you’ve always made me feel valuable and smart. But mostly it’s a joy because YOU’RE valuable and smart but too far away for me to enjoy your company regularly except by pretending that Hugh is you. And Hugh – though he is no Justin – is an alright substitute on your behalf. Because he certainly does make me laugh.

But the fact remains that he ISN’T you, and that I miss you. And I know Barb does, too. And I miss Barb.

Thanks for making me smile tonight. Not as good as you being here, but it should bring some comfort to all of us that I can simply think of you and it makes me smile, laugh and remember good times.

Love, your friend from the muddy cornfields, Tiff