Well, I always have good intentions. And then I start working and forget about everything outside my 6x6 office!
I am sick today and headed home to recoup. Hopefully I'll have a few minutes to give the bunches of updates that I want to share, and add some pics as well.
I had a GREAT time with the Fergasons this weekend.... who allowed me to come to TX to visit and celebrate their 10th anniversary with them........ :) They are gracious and great. And I'm grateful I didn't get sick until yesterday!
For now, God's blessings to you!
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Monday, January 10, 2005
January Update
So its been a month (almost) since I've "blogged-on" (ok, that one made me laugh). I was in Phoenix and couldn't remember my user ID, nor the email address which I had registered under....
But finally today I gathered my exhaustive list of email addresses and figured it out.
Many areas to update today:
Holiday Vacation~
One of the best that I've had. I think as I grow older I enjoy my family even more than I did when I was younger. I was sick with a cold for most of my visit in Phoenix (and even sicker for my three days in Seattle) but I still had a good time. Mom and I did some shopping together, cooking and played a lot of Texas Hold'em together on the computer... while one of us played, the other pretended to be Phil Gordon from Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo - it was pretty funny. Dad and I spent a great afternoon looking at houses for a client - we got to walk through a couple framed houses while decifering floor plans. Ben and I had a couple good conversations (its hard to get minutes together with his work schedule). And my grandparents and I got "real close" as we sat together while looking at Christmas lights on Christmas eve.
I really enjoyed my time at home, watching movies and TV, reading a ton, sleeping and doing crossword puzzle together.
My time in Seattle was also great (despite losing my voice on day two). I enjoyed spending the evenings with Glo and Do, and got to visit with a lot of friends. Too much eating out for the waistline (!) but a great time to get caught up on people's lives.
Vocationally~
I am enjoying my return to my job, with my new head coach. He's just a couple years older than I am, and pretty "casual" but with a clear vision of where he wants to go. I will enjoy working with him this semester and transitioning them to "life without Tiffani" :)
I am preparing to look for some different opportunities to start in June/July either here at the college, or around the nation. As you think of me, please pray that I would have wisdom, patience and confidence in God during this process.
I feel tremendously at peace - even not knowing where I will be in 6 months. I have LOTS of offers of places to stay, if I leave Greenville, and I hope to take advantage of all of them.
We are also planning to include my salary as a "need" when we submit our next fundraising letter (my salary, as well as that of two other coaches). Our plan is to let the boosters know of our lack of funds to pay certain salaries and see if we are able to raise the money to keep one or all of us on staff. It will be interesting to see how the Lord works in that circumstance.
Ministry~
This week I will begin a two-week bible study with 6 or 7 girls on campus. Then we will regroup and begin again during spring semester, for the 13 weeks of spring (I hope). I believe we are going to study Colossians for this two-week period. Please pray that I would be sensitive to the needs of this group of women (they are freshmen-senior in ages) and that I would have Godly wisdom as I lead the study. It will be largely informal - reading together, discussing and then prayer. I am VERY excited to get "back into" more ministry now that we are fully in the football off-season.
I have continued (though the fall and now into spring) to mentor two women - Jenn and Maura. I am blessed by both of them - by their teachable spirits and desires to grow. I hope to continue in diligence to meet with them regularly (Jenn and I meet frequently "on the fly" and Maura and I meet weekly) and prepare them for the plans the Lord has for them this year and next.
Thats the most I can think of for now. I'm still reading Piper's "Future Grace" and will have some notes about that later tomorrow/Wednesday, and I'm still in BSF. Had a VERY fun New Year's Eve experience with some friends from BSF St. Louis Young Adults, and some of their friends - think "amazing race".... my team won, and so that was DOUBLE-Y fun.
Blessings to you and yours.
Love, Tiffani
But finally today I gathered my exhaustive list of email addresses and figured it out.
Many areas to update today:
Holiday Vacation~
One of the best that I've had. I think as I grow older I enjoy my family even more than I did when I was younger. I was sick with a cold for most of my visit in Phoenix (and even sicker for my three days in Seattle) but I still had a good time. Mom and I did some shopping together, cooking and played a lot of Texas Hold'em together on the computer... while one of us played, the other pretended to be Phil Gordon from Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo - it was pretty funny. Dad and I spent a great afternoon looking at houses for a client - we got to walk through a couple framed houses while decifering floor plans. Ben and I had a couple good conversations (its hard to get minutes together with his work schedule). And my grandparents and I got "real close" as we sat together while looking at Christmas lights on Christmas eve.
I really enjoyed my time at home, watching movies and TV, reading a ton, sleeping and doing crossword puzzle together.
My time in Seattle was also great (despite losing my voice on day two). I enjoyed spending the evenings with Glo and Do, and got to visit with a lot of friends. Too much eating out for the waistline (!) but a great time to get caught up on people's lives.
Vocationally~
I am enjoying my return to my job, with my new head coach. He's just a couple years older than I am, and pretty "casual" but with a clear vision of where he wants to go. I will enjoy working with him this semester and transitioning them to "life without Tiffani" :)
I am preparing to look for some different opportunities to start in June/July either here at the college, or around the nation. As you think of me, please pray that I would have wisdom, patience and confidence in God during this process.
I feel tremendously at peace - even not knowing where I will be in 6 months. I have LOTS of offers of places to stay, if I leave Greenville, and I hope to take advantage of all of them.
We are also planning to include my salary as a "need" when we submit our next fundraising letter (my salary, as well as that of two other coaches). Our plan is to let the boosters know of our lack of funds to pay certain salaries and see if we are able to raise the money to keep one or all of us on staff. It will be interesting to see how the Lord works in that circumstance.
Ministry~
This week I will begin a two-week bible study with 6 or 7 girls on campus. Then we will regroup and begin again during spring semester, for the 13 weeks of spring (I hope). I believe we are going to study Colossians for this two-week period. Please pray that I would be sensitive to the needs of this group of women (they are freshmen-senior in ages) and that I would have Godly wisdom as I lead the study. It will be largely informal - reading together, discussing and then prayer. I am VERY excited to get "back into" more ministry now that we are fully in the football off-season.
I have continued (though the fall and now into spring) to mentor two women - Jenn and Maura. I am blessed by both of them - by their teachable spirits and desires to grow. I hope to continue in diligence to meet with them regularly (Jenn and I meet frequently "on the fly" and Maura and I meet weekly) and prepare them for the plans the Lord has for them this year and next.
Thats the most I can think of for now. I'm still reading Piper's "Future Grace" and will have some notes about that later tomorrow/Wednesday, and I'm still in BSF. Had a VERY fun New Year's Eve experience with some friends from BSF St. Louis Young Adults, and some of their friends - think "amazing race".... my team won, and so that was DOUBLE-Y fun.
Blessings to you and yours.
Love, Tiffani
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
sad.
Just sad today.
For those of you out there who get my "regular" updates, and so occasionally pray for me. You can pray about this.
sad.
I spoke with my mom just now. I'm so glad to be going home on Monday. Right now home feels like my safest haven. Where I can "escape" the various life changes that are occuring and hunker down in the big chair (I cried on the phone, so I think mom's sympathy will kick in and I'll get her chair for a day or so) and watch movies on the big TV, read on the patio and forget about real life for a little bit.
Now that the dam has broke on the tears, I think I may just keep crying a little all day. That's disturbing. Makes it hard to type, and my contacts are dry enough as it is...this isn't so helpful.
And its not helpful to know that some people (and even myself) would say, "Its not a sad time!" (because its not) "this is an exciting time!" (because it is) Because I can't put my finger on the exact sad points.
But I mostly think (and maybe I'm lying) that I'm simply tired. Last year I got to this point almost every Sunday durin the fall, and particularly the last Sunday of the season. By then I just couldn't hold it together any more. This season I've had to hold it together longer, knowing about Kess' announcement, trying to be bright for the guys, and confident so that they would be.
I imagine its often exhausting to be a parent and "never let them see you sweat".
I will sleep a lot when I get home I believe.
And I'm grateful for BSF and Hebrews. Because more than anything as I experience this time of change I remember that we have had GOOD times together here, but that the Lord did not intend for this to be the "be all end all" experience for any of us.
Its just a shadow of the things to come, on earth and in heaven.
I can't wait for heaven.
be blessed. T
For those of you out there who get my "regular" updates, and so occasionally pray for me. You can pray about this.
sad.
I spoke with my mom just now. I'm so glad to be going home on Monday. Right now home feels like my safest haven. Where I can "escape" the various life changes that are occuring and hunker down in the big chair (I cried on the phone, so I think mom's sympathy will kick in and I'll get her chair for a day or so) and watch movies on the big TV, read on the patio and forget about real life for a little bit.
Now that the dam has broke on the tears, I think I may just keep crying a little all day. That's disturbing. Makes it hard to type, and my contacts are dry enough as it is...this isn't so helpful.
And its not helpful to know that some people (and even myself) would say, "Its not a sad time!" (because its not) "this is an exciting time!" (because it is) Because I can't put my finger on the exact sad points.
But I mostly think (and maybe I'm lying) that I'm simply tired. Last year I got to this point almost every Sunday durin the fall, and particularly the last Sunday of the season. By then I just couldn't hold it together any more. This season I've had to hold it together longer, knowing about Kess' announcement, trying to be bright for the guys, and confident so that they would be.
I imagine its often exhausting to be a parent and "never let them see you sweat".
I will sleep a lot when I get home I believe.
And I'm grateful for BSF and Hebrews. Because more than anything as I experience this time of change I remember that we have had GOOD times together here, but that the Lord did not intend for this to be the "be all end all" experience for any of us.
Its just a shadow of the things to come, on earth and in heaven.
I can't wait for heaven.
be blessed. T
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Of Shadows and Smallness (part 2)
So I'm studying Hebrews right now - in BSF. I'm enjoying it a ton and grateful for Leah who helps me to make it there and back each week (!).
Last week we dove into chapters 6-10 of this deep book. It was all about how Christ is superior. A superior sacrifice (once for all vs. continuous), a superior priest (always lives to intercede vs. will die), a superior sanctuary (one where we can approach the most holy place with confidence vs. one only accessible to the high priest) and a superior covenant (one that depends not on human action, but God alone and that promises total forgiveness forever).
But it was also about how all those previous pieces (priests, sanctuaries, sacrifices, etc) were all shadows compared to the real thing. They were important and had value - most particularly, though, in pointing to the fact that something real did exist.
Well since then I've seen more and more shadows in the Old Testament - i.e. manna from heaven, water from the rock, etc. There are a ton.
And today I thought about all the men I've "liked" in my life. None of them has been, yet, the one I'm going to marry. But I believe I will get married (even as I approach the mid-way point of my 31st year). But they've all been shadows of the one I will marry. Each a little "more" like who I'd like to be with for day-to-day life, but none of them "it."
Its a relief somewhat, and helps me to say "he's just a shadow" when I feel the sting of unrequited affection (which I still feel regularly for a guy friend of mine). He's a shadow. He points to the real thing - he has many characteristics of the man I'm praying for. But the shadow simply is a reminder that the real thing - better in so many ways for its 3-dimensions, color and "self" - is out there and I simply need to look.
So that's one area the Lord has taken care of for me, or rather - one area I can recognize He's taken care of for me.
Now if I only knew what I wanted to do with my life, and how to do it. No biggie. :)
God is in the heavens, he will do as he pleases. Thankfully scripture doesn't leave it at that. "God's whim" - but it also says "He will work all things together for good, for those who love him and are called according to his purposes."
So I need not fear. But I will ask God to be small enough to hear me, tonight.
Love, Tiffani
Last week we dove into chapters 6-10 of this deep book. It was all about how Christ is superior. A superior sacrifice (once for all vs. continuous), a superior priest (always lives to intercede vs. will die), a superior sanctuary (one where we can approach the most holy place with confidence vs. one only accessible to the high priest) and a superior covenant (one that depends not on human action, but God alone and that promises total forgiveness forever).
But it was also about how all those previous pieces (priests, sanctuaries, sacrifices, etc) were all shadows compared to the real thing. They were important and had value - most particularly, though, in pointing to the fact that something real did exist.
Well since then I've seen more and more shadows in the Old Testament - i.e. manna from heaven, water from the rock, etc. There are a ton.
And today I thought about all the men I've "liked" in my life. None of them has been, yet, the one I'm going to marry. But I believe I will get married (even as I approach the mid-way point of my 31st year). But they've all been shadows of the one I will marry. Each a little "more" like who I'd like to be with for day-to-day life, but none of them "it."
Its a relief somewhat, and helps me to say "he's just a shadow" when I feel the sting of unrequited affection (which I still feel regularly for a guy friend of mine). He's a shadow. He points to the real thing - he has many characteristics of the man I'm praying for. But the shadow simply is a reminder that the real thing - better in so many ways for its 3-dimensions, color and "self" - is out there and I simply need to look.
So that's one area the Lord has taken care of for me, or rather - one area I can recognize He's taken care of for me.
Now if I only knew what I wanted to do with my life, and how to do it. No biggie. :)
God is in the heavens, he will do as he pleases. Thankfully scripture doesn't leave it at that. "God's whim" - but it also says "He will work all things together for good, for those who love him and are called according to his purposes."
So I need not fear. But I will ask God to be small enough to hear me, tonight.
Love, Tiffani
Of Shadows and Smallness (part 1)
This song (below) speaks to me often, but especially right now as I try to find my way in what seems like darkness. I hope that it will minister to you as it does to me. Its my prayer tonight.
Nicole Nordeman "Small Enough" (with Fernando Ortega)
Oh Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel’s den,
And I have asked you once or twice if you would part the sea again.
Tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky;
Just want to know you’re gonna hold me if I start to cry.
Oh Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
Oh Great God, be close enough to feel you now.
There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own.
And how could I forget we marched around our share of Jerichos?
But I will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight;
Just want to know that everything will be alright.
Oh Great God, be close enough to feel you now.
All praise and all the honor be to the God of ancient mysteries.
Whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our histories.
But tonight my heart is heavy and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer:
“Are you there?”
And I know you could leave writing on the wall that’s just for me.
Or send wisdom while I’m sleeping like in Solomon’s sweet dreams.
But I don’t need the strength of Sampson or a chariot in the air;
Just want to know that you still know how many hairs are on my head.
Oh Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
Nicole Nordeman "Small Enough" (with Fernando Ortega)
Oh Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel’s den,
And I have asked you once or twice if you would part the sea again.
Tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky;
Just want to know you’re gonna hold me if I start to cry.
Oh Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
Oh Great God, be close enough to feel you now.
There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own.
And how could I forget we marched around our share of Jerichos?
But I will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight;
Just want to know that everything will be alright.
Oh Great God, be close enough to feel you now.
All praise and all the honor be to the God of ancient mysteries.
Whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our histories.
But tonight my heart is heavy and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer:
“Are you there?”
And I know you could leave writing on the wall that’s just for me.
Or send wisdom while I’m sleeping like in Solomon’s sweet dreams.
But I don’t need the strength of Sampson or a chariot in the air;
Just want to know that you still know how many hairs are on my head.
Oh Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
This Week in History
1) Its after midnight on Friday. One week after Thanksgiving. Four days after Kess announced his resignation. The campus is in shock, the kids are a little dismayed.
And I don't know where I will go or what I will do.
2) I am going to the Dahnke's Christmas tree farm and I'm looking forward to it - even though I'm going alone. Good car time to think and make calls. Good family to visit, who will give me a hug and welcome me as their own daughter.
3) I'm big into "numbering" this week.
4) I got a TON of stuff done this week - bulk mailing to 2000 recruits, worked on getting the addresses ready for mailing to 400 coaches and the high schools of our players (dave helped me a ton here), letters for the player's school mailing written and cross referenced the lists. Only transcribed 1/2 of two tapes though.. got to get on that on Sunday, I guess (or tomorrow after I return)
5) Bought some pictures from Photoworks (don't like their new site as much, fyi, and why is there no more black/white?!?) for a Christmas project. Now all I need is spray adhesive and I'm set.
6) OK, its 12:43, and I'm not productively "blogging" - just rambling. Maybe I'll post tomorrow (but no numbering) and try to dialogue about what its like to try and reassure the kids that all will be ok (which it will, for the record, God is faithful) and at the same time look for a job. Weird.
Love, Tiffani
And I don't know where I will go or what I will do.
2) I am going to the Dahnke's Christmas tree farm and I'm looking forward to it - even though I'm going alone. Good car time to think and make calls. Good family to visit, who will give me a hug and welcome me as their own daughter.
3) I'm big into "numbering" this week.
4) I got a TON of stuff done this week - bulk mailing to 2000 recruits, worked on getting the addresses ready for mailing to 400 coaches and the high schools of our players (dave helped me a ton here), letters for the player's school mailing written and cross referenced the lists. Only transcribed 1/2 of two tapes though.. got to get on that on Sunday, I guess (or tomorrow after I return)
5) Bought some pictures from Photoworks (don't like their new site as much, fyi, and why is there no more black/white?!?) for a Christmas project. Now all I need is spray adhesive and I'm set.
6) OK, its 12:43, and I'm not productively "blogging" - just rambling. Maybe I'll post tomorrow (but no numbering) and try to dialogue about what its like to try and reassure the kids that all will be ok (which it will, for the record, God is faithful) and at the same time look for a job. Weird.
Love, Tiffani
Thanksgiving reflections
1) I am thankful. Period. Simply thankful for it all.
2) Thanksgiving Day 2004 ranks in the top 5 of history for me, I think (I sort of "rolled" all the 'normal' family thanksgivings into "one", and all the times at Anne's family's into one)
speaking of that, here are some fun historical thanksgiving memories (in NO order):
a) ben losing his two front teeth when we were playing circus on the bunk beds.
b) making apple pies with anne and ginny
c) cooking with my mom and eating outside with glo and donna on the PATIO (last year)
d) hanging out with my friends (this year) and watching TV's and Movies while we ate
3) It was so fun to have my (local) friends here - well, a lot of them, for Thanksgiving. Laura and Andy, Kess, Dave, Steve Moore (not my cousin, the coach) and Dave's brother Brandon even for a short time. We made it a great time. Watched Elf, watched football, watched Bad Company (pretty funny movie with Chris Rock). Ate LOTS of food, ate LOTS of dessert (yum!!) - and the evening lasted until late into the night. Fun and relaxing.
4) I think I slept (on average) about 9+ hours per night the whole weekend. It was great, but I made myself want to stay up late and sleep in, so its been a tough week.
I wouldn't have traded that Thanksgiving memory for anything in the world. And, she notes sadly to herself, I didn't get a picture.
Love, T
2) Thanksgiving Day 2004 ranks in the top 5 of history for me, I think (I sort of "rolled" all the 'normal' family thanksgivings into "one", and all the times at Anne's family's into one)
speaking of that, here are some fun historical thanksgiving memories (in NO order):
a) ben losing his two front teeth when we were playing circus on the bunk beds.
b) making apple pies with anne and ginny
c) cooking with my mom and eating outside with glo and donna on the PATIO (last year)
d) hanging out with my friends (this year) and watching TV's and Movies while we ate
3) It was so fun to have my (local) friends here - well, a lot of them, for Thanksgiving. Laura and Andy, Kess, Dave, Steve Moore (not my cousin, the coach) and Dave's brother Brandon even for a short time. We made it a great time. Watched Elf, watched football, watched Bad Company (pretty funny movie with Chris Rock). Ate LOTS of food, ate LOTS of dessert (yum!!) - and the evening lasted until late into the night. Fun and relaxing.
4) I think I slept (on average) about 9+ hours per night the whole weekend. It was great, but I made myself want to stay up late and sleep in, so its been a tough week.
I wouldn't have traded that Thanksgiving memory for anything in the world. And, she notes sadly to herself, I didn't get a picture.
Love, T
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Peace Like a River (and other BSF revelations)
First, let me say that I'm grateful for Rana. (some of you know her) She speaks truth to me. Last night she in particular spoke truth and it was the beginning of the revelations I had at BSF last night. Grateful for that woman!
Second, BSF continues to be incredible for me. I missed last year a ton. Not that I didn't grow last year (!) but I am glad at how the lessons continue to meet me where I'm at every week.
Here are my two revelations:
1) The question was "How do you squander your time in the wilderness of mediocrity by not believing what God has promised because of your unbelief?"
To me (once I figured out the question) I realized that if I truly (truly) believed God's promises I could "stop". Stop working, stop striving, stop trying to make things work the way I think they should work. That I live in the "wilderness of mediocrity" - instead of being GREAT - because I don't believe.
2) Follow that up with the Sabbath-rest for the people of God. Which made me think. God promises a spiritual rest (salvation), a physical rest (heavenly) - but ALSO we can have God's REST even now. As we believe (see #1), and we ACT in belief, we have REST for our soul.
Peace like a river.
Even in the midst of the twists, turns, falls, a river continues on its way... because it knows it's destination - and its destination doesn't change. Despite rapids, droughts, pouring into lakes, draining out... it continues steadfastly.
I realized that I don't always have peace like a river. Nor do I always believe I can have it. But I can, and Lord willing... I will "work" to keep it.
Love, Tiffani
Second, BSF continues to be incredible for me. I missed last year a ton. Not that I didn't grow last year (!) but I am glad at how the lessons continue to meet me where I'm at every week.
Here are my two revelations:
1) The question was "How do you squander your time in the wilderness of mediocrity by not believing what God has promised because of your unbelief?"
To me (once I figured out the question) I realized that if I truly (truly) believed God's promises I could "stop". Stop working, stop striving, stop trying to make things work the way I think they should work. That I live in the "wilderness of mediocrity" - instead of being GREAT - because I don't believe.
2) Follow that up with the Sabbath-rest for the people of God. Which made me think. God promises a spiritual rest (salvation), a physical rest (heavenly) - but ALSO we can have God's REST even now. As we believe (see #1), and we ACT in belief, we have REST for our soul.
Peace like a river.
Even in the midst of the twists, turns, falls, a river continues on its way... because it knows it's destination - and its destination doesn't change. Despite rapids, droughts, pouring into lakes, draining out... it continues steadfastly.
I realized that I don't always have peace like a river. Nor do I always believe I can have it. But I can, and Lord willing... I will "work" to keep it.
Love, Tiffani
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Late on a Saturday Night
Quick Tiffani Update:
Spiritually - feeling OK. had regular bible study time this week, regular prayer, good talks about lots of topics.
Physically - the season has caught up with me. I feel (whisper) fat. But I worked out three times this week, hope to do at least as much next week. And I feel super rested today after sleeping over nine hours last night. but now i'm up at 12:30... so that might not be good for tomorrow.
Emotionally - pretty fair. probably a 6.75 on a 10, which is slightly low, but not bad.
Financially - much better now that my checkbook is up to date after three months... yikes. it only took 2.5 hours, with maybe 30 minutes more tomorrow for current stuff. but that's a load off my mind.
Technologically - out of control, in a good way. been taking my work computer home with me to do some transcription work on the side for the AD, today figured out how to hook up my phone line so I could log on to the internet from my living room (instead of on my main computer in my bed room).
Weird Fact: and frankly.. i don't know how this can be. but i'm watching NBC and they are showing CSI (old one) which is normally on CBS. Funny.
Last night I recieved the quarterly "World Vision" magazine. I confess that often I don't have a minute to devote to it, but last night I did and I read it almost cover to cover before going to bed. I've sponsored a WV child (Stephen Pole, from Uganda) for a number of years now and I enjoyed reading last night about the various World Vision ministries and workers.
I was inspired by the cover story on the beatitudes and the profiles of WV workers for each beatitude. And excited to learn that I could communicate with Stephen now via email (the letters you send on email are transcribed into the appropriate language and given to the child)!!
Here follows some "excerpts" from the magazine written by Rev. Tim Dearborn, PhD (world vision; pp 12-23, world vision press):
* for more information on world vision and child sponsorship, check out www.worldvision.org.
Blessed are the Poor in Spirit:
Our experience of life in Christ begins as we recognize our need. We cannot turn to our material successes, our personal accomplishments, or our spiritual piety. The Gospel proclaims that this recognition can lead us through the doorway to blessedness, where joy and suffering can exist simultaneously.
Blessed are the Meek:
Meekness is one of the most misunderstood moral qualities. In our society, a meek person is a spineless weakling. Actually, Jesus uses a word that expresses the relinquishment of all illusion and control. Those who know their utter dependance on God, and are trained to trust God in all things, know that they have nothing to lose.
Blessed are those who Hunger:
Life in the kingdom is described as a banquet, a perpetual feast to which all are welcome but to which only those who know their hunger come. The Gospel promises that God feeds those who hunger for righteousness - the holiness and justice that will cure the suffering of our world.
Blessed are the Pure in Heart:
Only when we live with nothing to hide can we experience blessedness. We need no longer linger in the darkness, for we have come completely into the light. We are set free to stand joyously before God when we know that in mercy, he has cleansed our shameful sin with the goodness of Christ.
______
"We are set free to stand joyously before God when we know that in mercy, he has cleansed our shameful sin with the goodness of Christ."
"he has cleansed our shameful sin with the goodness of Christ"
what blessed words. the beatitudes show us that we must first recognize our need (become poor in spirit) and that through the process of Christ cleansing our shameful sin we are transformed into the "pure in heart" - who rejoice so joyfully in our cleansing that we overflow into gratitude and praise of Christ and in doing so bring others along for the journey.
Christ has cleansed my shameful sin.
Do you have shameful secrets? embarassing truths? sin? I can relate. I did, and sometimes do still.
If you do, please allow me to introduce you to Jesus - the only one who can truly make you clean and whole, and who is only waiting for you to recognize your need to BE clean and whole to do it.
I'm off to sleep now. I've already seen the CSI. Its sad, but satisfying. I spent a GREAT day today, being productive at "work life" and also enjoying time with Leah, and then Heather and her mom - and had a great talk with MY mom on the phone today, to boot. Satisfaction.
But nothing compared to the satisfaction in my soul.
Love, Tiffani
Spiritually - feeling OK. had regular bible study time this week, regular prayer, good talks about lots of topics.
Physically - the season has caught up with me. I feel (whisper) fat. But I worked out three times this week, hope to do at least as much next week. And I feel super rested today after sleeping over nine hours last night. but now i'm up at 12:30... so that might not be good for tomorrow.
Emotionally - pretty fair. probably a 6.75 on a 10, which is slightly low, but not bad.
Financially - much better now that my checkbook is up to date after three months... yikes. it only took 2.5 hours, with maybe 30 minutes more tomorrow for current stuff. but that's a load off my mind.
Technologically - out of control, in a good way. been taking my work computer home with me to do some transcription work on the side for the AD, today figured out how to hook up my phone line so I could log on to the internet from my living room (instead of on my main computer in my bed room).
Weird Fact: and frankly.. i don't know how this can be. but i'm watching NBC and they are showing CSI (old one) which is normally on CBS. Funny.
Last night I recieved the quarterly "World Vision" magazine. I confess that often I don't have a minute to devote to it, but last night I did and I read it almost cover to cover before going to bed. I've sponsored a WV child (Stephen Pole, from Uganda) for a number of years now and I enjoyed reading last night about the various World Vision ministries and workers.
I was inspired by the cover story on the beatitudes and the profiles of WV workers for each beatitude. And excited to learn that I could communicate with Stephen now via email (the letters you send on email are transcribed into the appropriate language and given to the child)!!
Here follows some "excerpts" from the magazine written by Rev. Tim Dearborn, PhD (world vision; pp 12-23, world vision press):
* for more information on world vision and child sponsorship, check out www.worldvision.org.
Blessed are the Poor in Spirit:
Our experience of life in Christ begins as we recognize our need. We cannot turn to our material successes, our personal accomplishments, or our spiritual piety. The Gospel proclaims that this recognition can lead us through the doorway to blessedness, where joy and suffering can exist simultaneously.
Blessed are the Meek:
Meekness is one of the most misunderstood moral qualities. In our society, a meek person is a spineless weakling. Actually, Jesus uses a word that expresses the relinquishment of all illusion and control. Those who know their utter dependance on God, and are trained to trust God in all things, know that they have nothing to lose.
Blessed are those who Hunger:
Life in the kingdom is described as a banquet, a perpetual feast to which all are welcome but to which only those who know their hunger come. The Gospel promises that God feeds those who hunger for righteousness - the holiness and justice that will cure the suffering of our world.
Blessed are the Pure in Heart:
Only when we live with nothing to hide can we experience blessedness. We need no longer linger in the darkness, for we have come completely into the light. We are set free to stand joyously before God when we know that in mercy, he has cleansed our shameful sin with the goodness of Christ.
______
"We are set free to stand joyously before God when we know that in mercy, he has cleansed our shameful sin with the goodness of Christ."
"he has cleansed our shameful sin with the goodness of Christ"
what blessed words. the beatitudes show us that we must first recognize our need (become poor in spirit) and that through the process of Christ cleansing our shameful sin we are transformed into the "pure in heart" - who rejoice so joyfully in our cleansing that we overflow into gratitude and praise of Christ and in doing so bring others along for the journey.
Christ has cleansed my shameful sin.
Do you have shameful secrets? embarassing truths? sin? I can relate. I did, and sometimes do still.
If you do, please allow me to introduce you to Jesus - the only one who can truly make you clean and whole, and who is only waiting for you to recognize your need to BE clean and whole to do it.
I'm off to sleep now. I've already seen the CSI. Its sad, but satisfying. I spent a GREAT day today, being productive at "work life" and also enjoying time with Leah, and then Heather and her mom - and had a great talk with MY mom on the phone today, to boot. Satisfaction.
But nothing compared to the satisfaction in my soul.
Love, Tiffani
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Briefly
Briefly... because I'm leaving work in 7 minutes to go work out at home with Heather, and then I think we're planning to eat "thanksgiving dinner" in the DC.
Additionally... the AMAZING RACE starts tonight. SOOOO excited. :) Its shallow, maybe, to be excited about a TV show. But its my favorite.
Last Wednesday night I was blessed to be able to speak at an event called "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?" I was first of all moved to tears by Joy Wrigglesworth's talk on wanting to be loved in all of our "naturalness" (my word) - without makeup, fancy clothes and hair, as we are on the inside without dressing up the outside. And I was challenged by Sarah Luke, who spoke after me about "little-g" gods in our lives - the things that we hold on to that stop us from following God (in this case, our self-image, etc).
I spoke on words. How they bless and curse. The bible says the "power of death and life are in the tongue." How they've blessed me in my life, and how they've cursed me.
So many of us are torn to shreds by one word from someone else, that happens to hit the exact wrong place in our heart.
More about that tomorrow.
Gotta go do Tae-Bo.
:) Love, Tiffani
Additionally... the AMAZING RACE starts tonight. SOOOO excited. :) Its shallow, maybe, to be excited about a TV show. But its my favorite.
Last Wednesday night I was blessed to be able to speak at an event called "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?" I was first of all moved to tears by Joy Wrigglesworth's talk on wanting to be loved in all of our "naturalness" (my word) - without makeup, fancy clothes and hair, as we are on the inside without dressing up the outside. And I was challenged by Sarah Luke, who spoke after me about "little-g" gods in our lives - the things that we hold on to that stop us from following God (in this case, our self-image, etc).
I spoke on words. How they bless and curse. The bible says the "power of death and life are in the tongue." How they've blessed me in my life, and how they've cursed me.
So many of us are torn to shreds by one word from someone else, that happens to hit the exact wrong place in our heart.
More about that tomorrow.
Gotta go do Tae-Bo.
:) Love, Tiffani
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Last One
Quickly I write on the day of the last game of our 2004 season to say:
I love this team.
I love these men and who they are becoming.
I am so proud to be associated with them.
There are moments from this year - sad, touching and funny that I will take with me whether I remain at this place for 15 years or 5 months.
This team is unique and special and I can't understand why God would allow me to be a part of it.
May the Lord give us grace today as we face Wash. U.
Tiffani
I love this team.
I love these men and who they are becoming.
I am so proud to be associated with them.
There are moments from this year - sad, touching and funny that I will take with me whether I remain at this place for 15 years or 5 months.
This team is unique and special and I can't understand why God would allow me to be a part of it.
May the Lord give us grace today as we face Wash. U.
Tiffani
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
thoughts
Hebrews 10:35-36
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Because scripture is living and active, when you read it - - even if you've read a chapter or book multiple times, one verse or a series of them will JUMP out at you and make a difference for the day.
Thats why I like to have devotional time in the AM if possible - because then I have a verse that's with me all day.
There is a lot going on right now here in humble Greenville. This verse spoke to me in a surprising way. There is so much I am persevering through right now, and trying to live victoriously through it, and have confidence through it. I am encouraged (literally - made more courageous, infused with courage) to continue in my fight for the Lord's will to be done here and in my life.
There are many things I wish would happen, but I can see that I don't know the Lord's will yet, and I simply need to be CONFIDENT that his will WILL come to pass, and I can trust him. He will reward me (eternally, and maybe even on earth in my eyes) with gifts that are abundant.
And in the meantime he is making me a "SUPER-Conquerer" and I am grateful for the training.
Love today, Tiffani
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Because scripture is living and active, when you read it - - even if you've read a chapter or book multiple times, one verse or a series of them will JUMP out at you and make a difference for the day.
Thats why I like to have devotional time in the AM if possible - because then I have a verse that's with me all day.
There is a lot going on right now here in humble Greenville. This verse spoke to me in a surprising way. There is so much I am persevering through right now, and trying to live victoriously through it, and have confidence through it. I am encouraged (literally - made more courageous, infused with courage) to continue in my fight for the Lord's will to be done here and in my life.
There are many things I wish would happen, but I can see that I don't know the Lord's will yet, and I simply need to be CONFIDENT that his will WILL come to pass, and I can trust him. He will reward me (eternally, and maybe even on earth in my eyes) with gifts that are abundant.
And in the meantime he is making me a "SUPER-Conquerer" and I am grateful for the training.
Love today, Tiffani
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Visitors from Another Place
Nope, not aliens...
My friends Brian Burdon and Kristen Falkenberg!
Brian and Kristen came to visit this weekend as part of my "Come to Historic Greenville" campaign. (for more information email me!)
We had a GREAT time. Kristen drove in from K.C. on Friday night and we got some good "talking time" before we went to sleep. She picked up Brian in the AM from the airport, while I began working (game day, you know). They both helped me as we prepared for "Senior Day" (it was our last home game this year) AND "Jr. Comet Football Day" - which somehow all ended up occuring on the same day...
The game and day were a little more crazy than normal, but both B and K seemed to enjoy the hulabaloo of the day.
The game was REALLY fun (though I filmed the 2nd 1/2, so I didn't get to experience it with my pals) - and ended in a VICTORY for the Panthers (currently 3-5 on the season).
After the game we enjoyed Mario's Pizza at our house with some friends. What a treat. Church on Sunday and lunch at Farmer's (lots of good car time with my friends this weekend). A walk around Historic Greenville, and then BOBBY'S and a movie ("Ray") in Edwardsville.
side note: for those of you who visit... there is a sign advertising "Historic Greenville" at the edge of town... and it happens to be RIGHT in front of Chang's Chinese Restaurant and Buffet. Its important to note that Chang's does not necessarily comprise the entirety of historic Greenville... nor is it maybe even included in the area labeled "Historic Greenville".
I was exhausted at work on Monday morning, but not so exhausted that I didn't enjoy lunch with B and K at Chang's (see above), also accompanied by Dave and Kyle. We forgot our camera so there is no picture, sadly, of the "historic" event... :)
Kristen left shortly after and I took Brian to the airport on our way to BSF. I was sad to see them go, but SOOOO glad that they came to visit. I was COMPLETELY and TOTALLY blessed by their visit.
Last night at BSF we were studying the conclusion of Paul's first missionary journey (Acts 14). And the lesson/lecture/notes discussed how different Derbe was from the other towns that the apostles/disciples had visited. After being persecuted all across Cyprus and Turkey, they came to Derbe where they had rest from persectution.
The "principle" was that "As we work for Christ, He will give us rest and refreshing when we need it"
That principle was true in my life this weekend. Circumstances had come together to make me feel tired, overwhelmed, unsure of my future and more. And I was fighting as best as I knew how, within that context, and trying to allow the joy of the Lord to be my strength.
But the Lord knew better and gave me rest when I needed it.
Even though the visit took a lot out of me (sleep-wise), I feel emotionally refreshed and I'm grateful that "Tall Brian" and Kristen were a part of the working of the Lord to get me there.
I'll have pics up soon from their visit. :)
Love (off to the last v-ball game of the season), Tiff
My friends Brian Burdon and Kristen Falkenberg!
Brian and Kristen came to visit this weekend as part of my "Come to Historic Greenville" campaign. (for more information email me!)
We had a GREAT time. Kristen drove in from K.C. on Friday night and we got some good "talking time" before we went to sleep. She picked up Brian in the AM from the airport, while I began working (game day, you know). They both helped me as we prepared for "Senior Day" (it was our last home game this year) AND "Jr. Comet Football Day" - which somehow all ended up occuring on the same day...
The game and day were a little more crazy than normal, but both B and K seemed to enjoy the hulabaloo of the day.
The game was REALLY fun (though I filmed the 2nd 1/2, so I didn't get to experience it with my pals) - and ended in a VICTORY for the Panthers (currently 3-5 on the season).
After the game we enjoyed Mario's Pizza at our house with some friends. What a treat. Church on Sunday and lunch at Farmer's (lots of good car time with my friends this weekend). A walk around Historic Greenville, and then BOBBY'S and a movie ("Ray") in Edwardsville.
side note: for those of you who visit... there is a sign advertising "Historic Greenville" at the edge of town... and it happens to be RIGHT in front of Chang's Chinese Restaurant and Buffet. Its important to note that Chang's does not necessarily comprise the entirety of historic Greenville... nor is it maybe even included in the area labeled "Historic Greenville".
I was exhausted at work on Monday morning, but not so exhausted that I didn't enjoy lunch with B and K at Chang's (see above), also accompanied by Dave and Kyle. We forgot our camera so there is no picture, sadly, of the "historic" event... :)
Kristen left shortly after and I took Brian to the airport on our way to BSF. I was sad to see them go, but SOOOO glad that they came to visit. I was COMPLETELY and TOTALLY blessed by their visit.
Last night at BSF we were studying the conclusion of Paul's first missionary journey (Acts 14). And the lesson/lecture/notes discussed how different Derbe was from the other towns that the apostles/disciples had visited. After being persecuted all across Cyprus and Turkey, they came to Derbe where they had rest from persectution.
The "principle" was that "As we work for Christ, He will give us rest and refreshing when we need it"
That principle was true in my life this weekend. Circumstances had come together to make me feel tired, overwhelmed, unsure of my future and more. And I was fighting as best as I knew how, within that context, and trying to allow the joy of the Lord to be my strength.
But the Lord knew better and gave me rest when I needed it.
Even though the visit took a lot out of me (sleep-wise), I feel emotionally refreshed and I'm grateful that "Tall Brian" and Kristen were a part of the working of the Lord to get me there.
I'll have pics up soon from their visit. :)
Love (off to the last v-ball game of the season), Tiff
Thursday, October 28, 2004
John Piper says:
"God is not done with the work of missions. He said go make disciples of all nations. And then he said, “I will be with you to the end of the age.” The promise is good till Jesus comes, because the commission is binding till Jesus comes. Therefore you and I face the question individually what our role is in obeying the great commission to reach all the unreached peoples of the world with the gospel of the riches of Christ."
Thats just enough to tempt you (I hope) to read the entire article, which I am half-way through. Piper blows my mind. He says what my heart thinks before I can put words on it.
Enjoy if you so choose to partake:
http://www.desiringgod.org/library/sermons/04/102404.html
(excerpt above taken from the above reference)
And may God's blessings overwhelm you today. Tiffani
Thats just enough to tempt you (I hope) to read the entire article, which I am half-way through. Piper blows my mind. He says what my heart thinks before I can put words on it.
Enjoy if you so choose to partake:
http://www.desiringgod.org/library/sermons/04/102404.html
(excerpt above taken from the above reference)
And may God's blessings overwhelm you today. Tiffani
Life Lessons for Today
Proverbs 3:4-5 (Tiffani English Version)
Put no faith in your own insight or knowledge. Trust God alone to direct the future of your life circumstances - because he will.
Jeremiah 1:12 (TEV)
God will put his promises into effect. He has in the past, he will continue to do so.
Tiffani's commentary:
God will do the good HE pleases in HIS own good ways and at HIS good times and I need not have anxiety about short-term circumstances. Even when others act in "their" understanding of God and it affects me, it doesn't really matter - because God is sovereign over our WHOLE lives and the lives of others.
I will wait upon the Lord for HIS will to come to pass, even though at times the darkness is complete and I have no direction. I will trust in HIS goodness in all circumstances, even when the way is "fearsome" and unknown. Even when people act in ways that I believe are contrary to God's will, God's will will be done.
Weird and hard to understand. But true.
I will expect miracles that put into reality that which I have already believe to be truth about circumstances.
And on those things I will rest.
Love, Tiffani
Put no faith in your own insight or knowledge. Trust God alone to direct the future of your life circumstances - because he will.
Jeremiah 1:12 (TEV)
God will put his promises into effect. He has in the past, he will continue to do so.
Tiffani's commentary:
God will do the good HE pleases in HIS own good ways and at HIS good times and I need not have anxiety about short-term circumstances. Even when others act in "their" understanding of God and it affects me, it doesn't really matter - because God is sovereign over our WHOLE lives and the lives of others.
I will wait upon the Lord for HIS will to come to pass, even though at times the darkness is complete and I have no direction. I will trust in HIS goodness in all circumstances, even when the way is "fearsome" and unknown. Even when people act in ways that I believe are contrary to God's will, God's will will be done.
Weird and hard to understand. But true.
I will expect miracles that put into reality that which I have already believe to be truth about circumstances.
And on those things I will rest.
Love, Tiffani
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Illinois Fact
Did you know that 95% of processed pumpkin produced in the United States is produced in Illinois?
Did you (further) know that 85% of the processed pumpkin produced in the WORLD is produced in Illinois?
Cool, huh!?
Did you (further) know that 85% of the processed pumpkin produced in the WORLD is produced in Illinois?
Cool, huh!?
Tarsus
Its been a week I think, since I've been able to write.
Work is going well. I'm constantly surprised - even after a year - at how much I enjoy the men on the team. I like helping them with their crises and hearing about their victories. Its neat seeing them grow up. Additionally, I'm blessed to have relationship with a number of women (students) on the campus.
Last Sunday night I spoke at Leah's RC meeting. It was fun to get together with her leaders and talk to them about repentance and forgiveness offered through Jesus. How to pray with the authority that we are given through Him. And how to walk in the freedom that those things bring. It was a great time for ME to be sharpened, and I hope they were challenged a little.
In BSF we are studying the Acts of the Apostles (starting with the book of Acts, and then moving on to study a bunch of the letters/epistles). A couple weeks ago we were learning about Paul (Saul) and how the Lord said to him "I will send you" but then he wasn't sent right away. He went for a time to Arabia to learn to hear the Lord's voice, and be discipled; he spent a short amount of time in Jerusalem.. and then we went back home to Tarsus for 7 years... where he waited upon the sending of the Lord.
While he was in Tarsus he worked, we can only presume - both at his trade and at evangelism. But that wasn't his calling. His calling was as the "Apostle to the Gentiles" and the Lord hadn't sent him to it yet. At the time, his "job" for Jesus was to stay and wait. It had to be enough for Paul that the Lord had said "I WILL send you."
I realized as I was studying that section, and over the week or so since.... Greenville is like my Tarsus. I have work to do here (both "tentmaking" and evangelistic in nature) and I am here waiting to be sent. Thats not to say that the Lord didn't send me here, because I think he did. But at some level, I think I'm here to learn and to teach and to wait. And the Lord needed me to wait outside of my comfort zone - - because in Seattle it was all too easy.
Here, easy isn't the word that I would use to describe my experience. Fun, memory-making, hard, sad, but not easy.
And I'm grateful most days that its not easy. And that the Lord chose and appointed me for this work. And other days I wish my waiting period were over because its hard to be here for various reasons.
But I trust that God has always taken care of me in the past. Numerous life changing and life saving occasions. And because of that I know I can trust him for each moment of my future. After all... every one of my days was written in his book before I was even born; and he takes care of the sparrows' every need... and says to me "are you not worth much more?"
Time for work. Signing off from Tarsus. :)
Love, Tiffani
Work is going well. I'm constantly surprised - even after a year - at how much I enjoy the men on the team. I like helping them with their crises and hearing about their victories. Its neat seeing them grow up. Additionally, I'm blessed to have relationship with a number of women (students) on the campus.
Last Sunday night I spoke at Leah's RC meeting. It was fun to get together with her leaders and talk to them about repentance and forgiveness offered through Jesus. How to pray with the authority that we are given through Him. And how to walk in the freedom that those things bring. It was a great time for ME to be sharpened, and I hope they were challenged a little.
In BSF we are studying the Acts of the Apostles (starting with the book of Acts, and then moving on to study a bunch of the letters/epistles). A couple weeks ago we were learning about Paul (Saul) and how the Lord said to him "I will send you" but then he wasn't sent right away. He went for a time to Arabia to learn to hear the Lord's voice, and be discipled; he spent a short amount of time in Jerusalem.. and then we went back home to Tarsus for 7 years... where he waited upon the sending of the Lord.
While he was in Tarsus he worked, we can only presume - both at his trade and at evangelism. But that wasn't his calling. His calling was as the "Apostle to the Gentiles" and the Lord hadn't sent him to it yet. At the time, his "job" for Jesus was to stay and wait. It had to be enough for Paul that the Lord had said "I WILL send you."
I realized as I was studying that section, and over the week or so since.... Greenville is like my Tarsus. I have work to do here (both "tentmaking" and evangelistic in nature) and I am here waiting to be sent. Thats not to say that the Lord didn't send me here, because I think he did. But at some level, I think I'm here to learn and to teach and to wait. And the Lord needed me to wait outside of my comfort zone - - because in Seattle it was all too easy.
Here, easy isn't the word that I would use to describe my experience. Fun, memory-making, hard, sad, but not easy.
And I'm grateful most days that its not easy. And that the Lord chose and appointed me for this work. And other days I wish my waiting period were over because its hard to be here for various reasons.
But I trust that God has always taken care of me in the past. Numerous life changing and life saving occasions. And because of that I know I can trust him for each moment of my future. After all... every one of my days was written in his book before I was even born; and he takes care of the sparrows' every need... and says to me "are you not worth much more?"
Time for work. Signing off from Tarsus. :)
Love, Tiffani
Friday, October 22, 2004
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Low Grade Reports, and Low Moods
I've been working on the low grade report today. And now I'm sort of discouraged. But the Lord says "do not be discouraged!" so I'm going to STOP. smile.
Had a great talk with Maura today about glorifying God in all we do. And I was convicted that I've been kind of cranky lately and moody.
And I haven't been sacrificing my time (nor my sleep, primarily) to have a devotional time. I think its affecting me. Maura and I made a deal for accountability this week. Next week we will check in on each other to see if we both had a devotional time every day.
She inspires me to know more and be more for Jesus.
Tiffani
Had a great talk with Maura today about glorifying God in all we do. And I was convicted that I've been kind of cranky lately and moody.
And I haven't been sacrificing my time (nor my sleep, primarily) to have a devotional time. I think its affecting me. Maura and I made a deal for accountability this week. Next week we will check in on each other to see if we both had a devotional time every day.
She inspires me to know more and be more for Jesus.
Tiffani
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